Well time for a little realness check. So last weekend I went out with my gay couple friend, Lars and Sheldon, and we went to a local gay bar after dinner. For the first time in ages, I was the third wheel and I can tell you it sucked. They are so in love and so cute and so…WTFE
Anyhow, so I am standing there with my prerequisite gin and tonic and looked over the lay of the land and was I disheartened. Now granted, I’m at a bar and the chances of finding a nice guy are as likely as getting hit with a piece of Skylab. But the attitudes bothered me. Let me clarify this and break it down into groups.
The mean girls; These are the twenty something, retail working, don’t have a pot to piss in, twinky boys who act as if being young is all they need. Well sister, let me tell you this. You work at Macy’s… I shop there. Don’t look down on me because I’m not like buff, and twenty. I’m a good guy. Stop gabby and yassing and gurling and take a chance. Talk to a guy.
Couples: Gawd, they sit in the corner of a bar and size up potential prey. Men are sized up, judged and dismissed in short order until they find some young thing, usually the case because us old duffers know how to handle our booze, and swish in and snatch him away amid a flurry of compliments and offers of 420.
The average guy: Why, oh why are you passing me by. You seem like a good guy but you want the Adonis of the gay world. Not a man who will take care of you went your sick and even pretend to like your mother.
Next are the phone boys: You never look up from you phone. You are too busy browsing Growlr, Grindr, Scruff and not to the men around you.
And this was only a cross section.
It was a Gaysteland! I’m not trying to be a bitch but holy hell. If this is the men I have to choose from, get me a crazt cat lady starter kit (Four kittens), a video on how to knit, yarn and a bottle of Xanax. As I told my friend Lars in despair… I’m going to die alone.
Oh well… knit one, purl two… come to daddy Mittens.
9 comments
Skip to comment form ↓
Michelle
April 19, 2016 at 2:22 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I’ll be your wingman if you’ll be mine. It appears that pickin’s are slim all over!
Phae
April 19, 2016 at 2:27 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
So true. Gaysteland is everywhere. For me, all the men I meet are younger than me. I’m afraid to take a chance. Please find someone and let me live vicariously.
Vevette
April 19, 2016 at 3:31 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
That was eloquently put and describes all groups of people whether they be gay, straight, bi, polka dotted. If I had a penis you would be my cup of tea.
Dennis
April 19, 2016 at 4:08 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
My mom can teach us both how to knit and crochet cause I’ll be,there with you.
PaulW
April 19, 2016 at 4:45 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
(((Hugs))). I was 49 when my Kevin died. I’m shortly going to be 56 and have discovered that while yes, I will most likely be single forever, I’m ok with that. Considering what’s out there, I’ll just consider myself blessed that I at least had more than 24 years of happiness and wonder. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Brian
April 19, 2016 at 5:46 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I could get you started on the cats. We have a little black & white kitty named Lucky who wants ALL the attention!
Timm hopkins
April 19, 2016 at 8:22 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
Well hello there ,
love it.!!
Monique
April 19, 2016 at 10:46 am (UTC 0) Link to this comment
I have to agree with everything you said. It’s funny how in someways straight clubs and gay clubs mirror eachother. If you ever need kittens I got two to send you. Smooches.
Larry Glinzman
May 1, 2016 at 1:05 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
You will find your companion and love for the next phase of your life, though probably not at bars. Volunteer somewhere that you can meet grown up gay men, join a gay bowling league or something similar. Won;t kid you, it isn;t easy and takes work.