Oh my… WTF!

Hello all,

It’s your friendly neighborhood bear and I am on a bit of a rant. The rant is all concerning Selfies. Now, I have taken more than my fair share and I don’t mind the narcissistic, self promotion… hell I say take more if you like to. What I have an issue with is background, foreground, staging, you name it. It’s all about what’s in the picture with you. So I have compiled a list of beefs I have with my fellow gay men and their Selfies.

1. Bathroom nudes: Yes, I know the bathroom has the largest mirror and thus making it the best place for taking a picture if you don’t have a selfie stick, however be conscious of the background. First, clean you bathroom the fuck up. Nothing says sexy like a toilet seat left up with golden water. A filthy sink and counter is next on my list of hates. Is it so hard to wipe down a surface? And clear off the products. Away with the toothpaste, shaving gear and what nots. Hell, I saw a tube of hemorrhoid cream on the counter of one guy’s pic. Really? Seriously? I’m done.
2. The Bed Room: Okay here is where I get even more irate. Clean up your room! You’re not fifteen living at home… well some of those guys might still be living at home. Pick up your dirty clothes that are strewn all over the bed and floor. Come on, guys are looking at the picture and yah you may be hot but a slob is still a slob. You can’t undo a first impression. Also sheets! Put sheets on your bed. I saw a wonderfully handsome man ruin is picture by laying on a bed with no sheets and now mattress pad. Nothing says serial killer like a bare bed.
3. Sex products: Put them away. Nothing says sexy like seeing a Costco sized pump bottle of lube on your nightstand with used condom rappers. Nightstands are for clocks, books and a glass of water. Not your latest dildo, cock ring or expanding butt plug. Clean out a drawer in you nightstand and organize your toys. Mine is a nicely put together with items categorized by use. Yes, I have a touch of OCD but you’ll never find a stray pube on my toys!
4. Last and most important. Stop trying to be sexy. Be natural and smile. Most times when guys try to be sexy, all it comes across as is constipated. Let out that fart and laugh… a sense of humor is very sexy.

Okay, I’m done. Off to judge the world some more… oh and my bed is made, my toys are put up and my bathroom sparkles. Yep, I’m all that and can hook my knees behind my ears. Ta!

Tidy and sexy all in one!