As you might have read in my previous post, my husband Tim Marsh passed away suddenly and I find myself lost and angry and sad and… well lonely. You can’t have a person in your life for almost twenty years and then not and it not profoundly affect you. My house is eerily quiet at times and if it wasn’t for my father-in-law, who still lives with me, I think I’d go insane. Over the last few months I’ve taken a brief inventory of my life and I am dubious… of all of it.
In as much as I have grown comfortable as a husband and partner and yes… yes I’ll say it! I got fat! I love pie! I love meat! I adore cheese and I freaking hate exercise! But it didn’t matter. My hubby loved me despite all my physical changes over the years. But now what? I know one day I might date again but who would want me?
Now don’t get all judgy. I know it’s a pity party and I am entitled for a scosh of it. Hell, my single female friends in their forties talk about how horrible the options out there are for them. I am genuinely afraid. I met my Tim through friends in what I think was wonderfully divine luck. Can it strike again.
Who the hell knows.
In the meantime, I go to work, I try to stay busy and try to stay out of the wine. 
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